to my dearest LoLo

It’s difficult accepting the fact that there are people close to you that will someday be gone, for forever! (or at least as long as we’re alive). It’s almost 2 weeks since, but I’m still finding myself cry in the middle of the traffic or while attending the mass, especially during communion.

I may not have said it in your face; but Lolo I deeply admire, respect and love you with all my heart. I promise not to cry anymore but as I’m writing this, tears could not help from falling on my cheeks. The fact hasn’t sink in yet in me. I still continuously asked myself, are you really gone now? Is it really true that I cannot hug you anymore or share some silly jokes with you? Is it?

Know what, at the back of my head, I’d like to think that you’re just there in Palawan, and will be coming here for the summer, as the usual. But heck, who am I fooling? I know it will take time….In God’s time! (sigh)

I can never forget the moment when I saw you wrapped in green bed sheet with only your face shown - the time when all the apparatus and dextrose has been removed. I ran and hugged you.. with the intention of waking you up. I was unconsciously shaking you, so you will wake up..Maybe the doctors were wrong, maybe the apparatus has failed..Maybe… (sigh) Lo… it was all fast. I was planning to treat you when the time comes when I have so much money - wherever you want. Give you Marlboro classic which you constantly remind me about, jokingly. But I know it was half-meant.. Treat you to your favorite resto..but now, these are all too late.. :(

Lo… I love you so much. Forever you’ll be missed! Please say hi to Lola for me. I miss and love you both!

"The bitterest tears shed over grave,
are for words left unsaid
and deeds left undone." - Harriet Beecher Stowe

Gabriel L. Mandocdoc 1927-2006