aRbiTrAry NoTioN

Why we are here? Our existence on earth provides us a lot of preferences. It may include pleasures yet there are harms. There might be uncertainties and disappointments. Still the ‘so-called’ stepping stones beyond those stumbling blocks do exist. But beneath the wide variety of inclinations we might have– the crucial objective is for us to uncover the truth and genuine purpose why we are breathing at this very moment.

I vaguely remember when I was asked by my grade 6 teacher what I want to be when I grow up. It was an instantaneous reply when I said – lawyer. Then again I was asked the same question during our Religion class when I was a senior. My answer had diverged by some means, I said journalist. I had the absurdity to somehow relate the two and I feel it’s safe to say that the mishmash would be an ‘investigative journalist’ - Then last night as I was watching CSI (Crime Scene Investigation), the keenness in me to be an i.j. or lawyer for that matter, had in one way or another reverted back to the inner portion of my senses.

I, in fact is still lost for answers why I’m interested in investigating the situations / carefully scrutinizing the evidences at hand / analyzing scenarios / guessing the endless possibilities / and in the end giving out the truth or just a mere conclusion that would make or break the reality of circumstances that had happened. That is probably the very same reason why I like John Grisham books. He’s a lawyer, and his readers were given a taste and look of the ‘court world’ in veracity.

Then reminiscing the old days, as I starred perplexedly on my monitor with a cold breeze of aircon touching my face, I find myself asking the same question over and over in my head. However the answers I got was just a new set of questions. Why am I here in an IT company, doing technical matters and other stuffs?

One thing that could be sure is that – I might be wrong. That the decision I have had will be something I will forever regret and just consider the angst of grabbing that final shot. On the other hand, it is but with a peculiar emotion why I don’t feel the anguish and anxiety in the world I choose to live up to. It is because for a simple reason that hurdles come in when you least anticipated it. Simple answer for a simple question, it is but however made to be complicated by the odds reality of life.

Cliché as it may sound, indeed, past is past. Though the future - is yet to come waiting to be embraced by a dream that might turn into reality. Going back to my question, why I end up in IT? I came to realize that it might just remain to be a question. Nevertheless, it does not necessarily mean to answer with regret. :D